On 25 March 1971, I was just three. I have no recollection of that ghastly night. I have no visual memory of mass graves, brutal torture, of rampant senseless killing, of losing dignity and security in one simple act of insanity. Luckily I never had to see a gunfight, or hear gunshots, mortars or cannons; I never saw fear in the eyes of a Bangladeshi, like they showed so long ago in history until 25 February 2009.

I never thought it was possible to re-live those dark moments in history again at the age of forty.

This psychosis that gripped our border guards boil down to one simple equation, which they couldn't solve. In their narrow mindset they gathered that they were deprived of their share of money from the 'so-called corruption' that their officers were enjoying; they did not have enough job benefits or the opportunity to participate in UN Mission (again for money) and they did not want the army to command them.

Can anyone believe that you kill, murder, mutilate, burn down houses, rape women, loot valuables, bring shame to an entire wing of our disciplined forces just because corruption and ill acclaimed money didn't trickle down the grapevine and reach your pockets or just because you did not get enough financial benefits?

If this act is to be justified then all Bangladeshis should kill each other, because for many of us, the fat bank balances, the lavish cars, modern apartments are all far-fetched dreams. The booty of corruption in our mundane civilians' world didn't reach many of our pockets too. We too have grievances or lack job satisfaction.

What was going through their minds while planning this suicidal sabotage? Did they truly believe that we would say 'all hail corruption', and give them their 'fair' share? Did they believe that killing their commanding officers and looting them would make them heroes overnight; that the nation will pardon their killing their own brothers and literally keeping the entire country hostage?

It cannot get any meaner than this; this is the height of despicability. Yet at times like this, a few tried to justify the border guards' audacity; either they were ignorant of the magnitude of the crime already committed or they too were serving paltry interests. Preaching hatred from their cushioned lives only threatens our fledgling democracy; I wonder how their intellectual minds work.

During our liberation war we were violated by outsiders but here a Bangladeshi against another, a jawaan against an officer. You rape your own sisters, you orphan your own child. How is this justified?

Not only have these border guards senselessly killed our officers and left our borders unprotected; they forgot their pledges to their nation and magnified their own petty interests. Even if their grievances were justified and were overlooked for years, there were thousand other ways of making it reach the proper ears or demonstrating protest.

In the depths of despair such acts only make them stand along the war criminals and rajakars of 1971. This felt like a re-enactment for those of us who have no memories of 1971, to remind us that our beloved Bangladesh is still bleeding and today, 38 years later, more profusely so; the old scars, the new ones are all bayoneted and opened anew.

Yet fools like us fantasize of a free, democratic country; for a few rotten apples, present in every tier, let's not choke our motherland to death.

Courtesy: The Daily Star